Toilet Humour

Contempt of Wall Street runs the full gamut, from academics to latrines. Anita Thompson attended a seminar on this “legalised gambling temple” where a professor asked, “What's the difference between Bernie Madoff and Charles Ponzi?” She answered, “Charles Ponzi swindled the working poor. Bernie Madoff swindled the Uber Rich -- the ones in-the-know. Well, apparently not so in-the-know.”

Icelanders prefer a literal approach (bankers pictured):

Speaking of latrines, who knew that fart gags could lead to killer apps:

Blasting Bush

Bush offered to advise Obama on a recent visit to Calgary for his first paid speaking engagement. Some might say that Bush chose this location due to its reputation as Canada’s Texas, but Calgarians responded appropriately by stock-piling shoes at the conference centre’s entrance. Fortunately none of them will receive a three year sentence for doing so.

Last week I watched, You’re Welcome America. A Final Night with George W. Bush, Will Ferrell’s Broadway debut, on HBO. Overall the production was excellent: Ferrell adroitly impersonated Bush with the skills he honed on SNL (never dropping out of character for the show’s entirety), and clever filming captured much of the stage atmosphere. Ferrell came up with some gems like “wing take dream (a Bushism),” “the Tiger Woods guy (Obama),” and “Swiss (blond haired, not swarthy) Jesus.” Nevertheless, the funniest sketch was Operation Primate Spear Gun. In this fictional sketch, Morocco supposedly committed to send 2,000 monkeys to Iraq to clear mines and entertain children. Although Morocco reneges, Ferrell’s Bush recounts how he set up a base for training primates in N.C. In the end, most of the monkeys escape and spear gun fatalities rise over 1,000 percent.

The performance, however, does become tedious at times, a regular feature of Ferrell’s work (here, to Grohl's discomfort):

Obamageddon

Is Obamageddon the end of life as we know it? If it is, couldn't that be a good thing: no more war in Iraq or no more extraordinary rendition? I guess for the group that stated, "Saddam was like a boil that needed to be lanced," it wouldn't; instead Focus on the Family has released a Letter from 2012 in Obama's America. Although this is a serious attempt to stir up the Right, any validity is betrayed by their paranoia of homosexuality and abortion. A saner letter would focus on the benefits of universal healthcare, equality, not living in fear, peace treaties, and sustainable economic prosperity. Perhaps it is better to ask why the chicken crossed the road? and listen to Falwell's fabricated responses: "To get to a gay convention" or "That's why they call it the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken you will become gay, too."

I hope those who vote on Tuesday will realize that "This feast of beauty can intoxicate ..., just like the finest wine. Come on all you stumblers who believe love rules. Stand up and let it shine" (Cockburn, Mystery. 2006).

VP Victor

The VP debate with its record ratings, viewers, and searches has sparked much analysis on who won: a few say Palin, based on the fact that she exceeded expectations while Biden just met them, and more, based on exit polls and speech content, say Biden. Nevertheless, the winner is Fey and SNL for their clever sketch:



With the gloves off, Tuesday's debate should be great.

Barackidiness2

Obama has an amazing talent for summarizing history and relating it to the issues of today (watch A More Perfect Union and see Barackidiness1). "It is a fearful thing to lead this great peaceful people into war... But the right is more precious than peace." In a speech on March 19, he used this quote by Woodrow Wilson just prior to WWI to question Bush's invasion of Iraq. He notes that the Iraq war has now lasted longer than WWI, WWII (America's involvement in it), or the Civil War and will cost at least one trillion dollars.



For some fun, here's a remake of Hilary's visit to Bosnia where she encountered sniper fire.



barelypolitical.com has a number of funny spoofs, including ObamaGirl who fights the of the political world, but can be overcome with emotion.

Shock Rock

Lately, I have been thoroughly enjoying the sounds of Shock Radar. Here, you can sample a bunch of songs and download a few of them; the highlight of this site is virtual concert video where they perform Methadone. At the end of the film they mention doing a cover of War Pigs. I guess this is the reason why I like the music so much; it satisfies my desire for a nostalgic yet progressive sound. System of a Down is another band that does the very same thing.

The latest Vinyl Cafe podcast (a fantastic show, also available on streaming and conventional radio, that will engender a deep appreciation for Canada in you and make you laugh so hard you ...) featured a band called Great Lake Swimmers. They have a very interesting sound, combining 70's folk standards with the subtleties of "alternative" music. Plus, as a bonus, they maintain the non-violent protest lyrics of the 70's.

On a totally separate topic, check out this hilarious video. It is in German, but you get the point anyway.

Middle-East Mess

I am on an excellent mailing list that sends me a flood of good information on the "situation" in the Middle-East (If you want to join it, write it in a comment which will then be emailed to me and I'll put you on). These cartoons are from the Center for American Progress Fund.

Democracy Now is an excellent resource for this topic. The latest show includes talks by Noam Chomsky and Archbishop Tutu on the Annapolis conference. There's even an interlude with Hendrix's performance of the Star Spangled Banner at Woodstock. Start the video at 9 minutes to skip the current headlines. If you don't like RealAudio get the Real Alternative, it works well with Media Player Classic (not Windows Media Player) and you get it in the download.

Bovine Humour

Both the Uncyclopedia and TheCapitol have collections of "you have two cows" statements. Although many are very cheesy and the Uncyclopedia's use of terms like Cowtegory and Politicowl offputting, I find some very funny (I guess its due tomy economics' background on which they are based). Here are a few of my favourites:

Socialism: You have 2 cows; you give one to your neighbour.
Communism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and gives you some milk.
Fascism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and sells you some milk.
Nazism: You have 2 cows. The state takes both and shoots you.
Bureaucracy: You have 2 cows. The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.
American Corporation: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.
Chinese Corporation: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity, and execute the newsman who reported the real situation.
Iraqi Corporation: Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have one. No one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.

Iraq bits

Of course, American foreign policy has much to be desired. Here's a couple of items to add some levity to the situation.


This video shows the way that Humvees rule the streets of Baghdad. Unfortunately, only a tantalizing bit of dialogue is included, "There's a guy just picking his nose, not a fucking care in the world."

Steve Tilley

I came upon a column he wrote in 24HRS.CA on November 2 which was hilarious: "The closest I've ever come to experiencing gadget sex is when I was oohing and aahing over a robot dog at a Sony product showroom in Tokyo and it tried to hump my leg." He continues that if gadgets could mate he would have the Sony Ericsson W580i and the HTC Touch do so to produce the ultimate cell-phone, "I would happily get some scented candles, a Barry White album and a nice hotel room [for them]." He ends this entertaining review with, "They come from different worlds, these two phones, and their ill-fated love would probably end in tears. But man, they'd have some great looking kids."

I would have liked to provide a link for this review but the 24HRS.CA website is centred on the latest issue and one can only find random access to their back issues through Google. Their Canoe.ca search sucks and did not return the above article neither did the link www.canoe.ca/canoe/blog provided on the print version for his blog work. The site definitely needs some work.

Political web

The Internet as a relatively unregulated domain provides some brilliant resources (and satires) for the U.S. political landscape. The Democratic Candidate Mashup is an excellent example of the versatile offerings of the Internet. This resource allows the user to select two candidates and compare their opinions via video interviews on the issues of Iraq, Health Care, Education, and my favourite, The Bill Maher Grill.

Of course, satire remains a favourite prong of attack and the offerings range from the strangely satisfying Falling George Bush Screensaver to the brilliantly conceived Lil' Bush (click the link and look under Lineup; the site also has a number of shows including a favourite of mine, Corner Gas). This show is only available on-line so they don't have to pull the punches; the premise is that Bush created this show to distract the populace from his policies. A favourite scene from the latest episode is when Cheney dies and goes to hell only to out devil the Devil. Satan returns him to earth so that he can rule his domain and return it to a less sinister level of evil. Remember the Transformers have nothing on Bush, only he can transform a surplus into a debt and a lost election into a win.

Graphic novels and a surfing Jesus

On Sunday I had a cool time hanging out with my son. First I took him to his acting class and then we cruised around some shops. One of these was Curious Comics. I was glad to hit this store because it gave me a chance to check out Casanova, which GQ had favourably reviewed but I found passable at best. It was not charged with the historical and political brilliance of Pekar's Macedonia or the comical cross-cultural charm of Delisle's work. Neither did it have the ingenuity of other adaptations, namely Sienkiewicz's Moby Dick. I also found this great book for my son, Lost in Skookum Valley. It is published and set in B.C. and follows the Herge style. Check it out.

In this shop I also encountered the Fishermen. Given the sincerity of the founder's message I feel bad finding them so funny. I can see his point, but NFL Jesus comes off like Toyota's "what would Jesus drive". These are definitely of higher quality than the ridiculous Testamints, but they only serve to push forward capitalism's agenda that it is the best mechanism for serving everything (since it defeated Communism) including democracy and religion. The "access" that Capitalism brings is often a cheapened one. Today the remark came up in jest that religious services will soon be offered in a pay as you go format: 1 visit by the priest $40, one by a deacon or elder $25; much like getting your fortune told. Well I'll sign off with, D€r€k given all this talk. Just remember that a free market is not the same thing as freedom; yeah prosperity fosters choices, but equality -- come on!